Poll: Most People Want to Know Elon Musk’s Location so They Can Avoid Him
Andy Borowitz The New Yorker
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."
The poll, from the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that a visceral fear of encountering Elon Musk is what drives eighty-nine per cent of those who follow his movements.
Drilling down into the results, that percentage is even higher among people who work for Elon Musk.
The widespread anxiety about crossing paths with Musk bodes well for a new Twitter account, launched last night, which indicates locations where the Tesla C.E.O. is least likely to be found.
The account, @WhereElonIsnt, offers users real-time updates on safe spaces where they have virtually no chance of running into Musk, such as blood-donation centers and the Amtrak quiet car.