ALSO SEE: Trump Charged With Hush-Money Scheme to
Boost 2016 Election Chances

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Donald Trump was charged on Tuesday with an astonishing 34 felony counts of falsifying business records in the first degree. As The New York Times’ Maggie Haberman reported, not only did the ex-president look “very unhappy as he walked into the courtroom,” but he appeared “as angry” as he did after the Access Hollywood tape went public in October 2016. Why might Trump not have cartwheeled into the courtroom with a huge grin on his face, snapping his fingers, and blowing air kisses to the cameras? For one thing, Tuesday marked what was, effectively, the first time he had ever been truly held accountable for anything in his life. For another? He’s facing more than 100 years in prison.

Reuters and others report that should Trump be found guilty of all 34 class E felonies, he could be sentenced to up to 136 years in prison—which, as one former president might tell you, is an incredibly yuge number of years. While a conviction is not a sure thing, and a sympathetic judge could go for the lower end of the sentencing guidelines, Trump, who is 76 years old, would obviously die in prison if he were to get the maximum time behind bars. Which that same former president we referenced earlier would definitely dub “SAD!”

If you’re wondering: Only four states in America allow conjugal visits with one’s spouse, and New York is one of them.

As Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg said on Tuesday, the government’s case against Trump is not “just about one payment.” In addition to the $130,000 paid to Stormy Daniels in 2016, the DA’s office cited multiple instances of Trump engaging in “catch and kill“ schemes to bury damaging stories about him that were subsequently concealed through false business entries. Those included $150,000 to Playboy model Karen McDougal, who claimed to have had an affair with Trump, and $30,000 to a New York doorman who’d claimed to have knowledge of a child Trump had out of wedlock.

Trump has pleaded not guilty to all 34 charges.